This is so important. From what I experienced when I called myself a hopeless romantic is that I put up with bullshit. I was so infatuated with the idea of someone loving me, that I tolerated even some of the worst behaviors simply for the fact that I thought I was being loved.

My entire life I wanted someone to love me. I grew up in a very abusive household, had so many other issues with family, and pushed myself so hard toward perfection that I neglected to make any lasting friendships throughout my adolescence.

After running away at 17, I was on my own... still waiting for someone to come around and truly love me. Soon after I turned 18, still in high school, I met a 21 year old who immediately love bombed me. I WAS SO EXCITED!

But he withheld saying I love you so often, he withheld cuddles (even asking his MALE cousin to cuddle with me so he could play video games; which ended up happening bc that's what he wanted), and overall did some really fucked up things that I excused in hopes of being loved.

At some point, though, I realized there was so much more to life. True love wouldn't make me cry in my closet every-single-day, wouldn't make me feel the need to lock myself in the bathroom, and overall wouldn't make me QUESTION if the love was there.

Ya, I made really dumb decisions after ending that; I dated really messed up people and even went back to that ex quite a few times (in which he explained every time that he only wanted to be fwb). But... I ended up meeting someone a little over a year ago, and we started dating almost 10 months ago.

I was able to get to know him, we were coworkers, and then we were friends. When I stopped working there, he asked me out and everything is different. I'll admit, I still cry daily, but not because I question anything with him; it's because he encourages me to deal with my trauma, so I do, and I know he'll be there to support. We talk and communicate about things that bother us in a relationship rather than withholding love or love bombing. We never go to bed or even leave the building mad at each other, but, we allow each other space if they need it while upset (something I was not allowed in a past relationship).

Anywho, thank you so much for this article. I'm sorry for completely ranting on your page. But thank you for having this space for me to do so. I hope you have an amazing day and I also hope to connect soon!